By Rebecca Childs | Entertainment editor
Marriage is an institution almost as old as human culture, and it has evolved with humankind. It has evolved into a legal institution in the United States, and most of the rest of the world. It is even in the vows, “I take thee as my lawfully wedded spouse.”
Traditional marriage formed to provide stable relationships in which to raise children. From traditional polygamy and traditional incest to ensure survival and keep bloodlines strong, to newer concepts such as monogamy and “marrying for love” what is marriage all about?
Same-sex marriage has inspired debate over the definition of marriage. Numerous states include same-sex couples in this definition as well as the United States Supreme Court, and globally countries differ greatly in policy.
The debate is worldwide. However, if we’re talking traditional versus nontraditional definitions of marriage, the conversation that we should be having is: Should marriage be a legal institution at all?
The Divorce Economy
Think of the children. Talk about loveless marriage and cold angry beds. Statistics say people want to stay “in love”, explaining why nearly half of all married American couples have undergone divorce. Traditionally, people would stay together for fear of religious or social backlash. Not anymore.
In this economy, marriage gives needed tax breaks and benefits, but also incurs costs. The cost of raising children is high. The cost of a wedding is higher. The opportunity costs incurred by marriage at a young age are the highest.
Tierra Fennimore, of Kenosha, has lived a lifetime at the age of 22. She has served in the U.S. Navy, lived in various regions of the United States of America, and traveled the world from lawless Amsterdam to brilliant cathedrals in Scotland.
She is separated and in the process of divorce.
“Marriage is hard,” Fennimore said, of her three years of marriage. She explained that not only did she rush into marriage, but also that the costs were too high.
“He went to school before he joined the Navy, I didn’t. He couldn’t understand that I can’t just drop my friends and the life I used to live. I have thought about going back to the service.”
The divorce rate among young couples is twice that of older couples, according to http://www.divorce360.com/. The current trend towards later marriage derives from more young people seeking higher education. The stress of maintaining a family can be overwhelming through the college years—full of sexual exploration and waning and waxing responsibilities. Why bring a family into it?
Shifting Traditions
Even after college, the millennial generation (16 to 26 year olds) is set on a course of higher costs of living and lessened opportunity due to financial hardship. Starting and maintaining a family have high costs. This generation of “hipsters” is more often choosing nontraditional lifestyles in order to thrive.
Naomi and Joe Edmark, of Brooktondale, NY, both 23, are millennials and newlyweds. While they plan to have children in the future, they also plan to forego owning a home and are opting for another kind of housing.
“The houses are usually called tiny houses…. They are built the same way as traditional houses with an emphasis on saving space and multiple uses for the same item, such as a composting toilet. Generally, people build tiny houses themselves, which can cost as little as $11,000,” said Naomi Edmark.“…I am interested in living with significantly less debt than my parents and the freedom that [it] creates to travel, spend time with family and friends and enjoy life more,” she said.
“It’s more about buying things that we really enjoy — buying delicious cheeses and taking trips to Italy before we retire and filling our lives with beautiful, enriching experiences,” said Joe Edmark.
Meaning over money. Regardless of the high rates of teen pregnancy, like during the Great Depression, the birthrate is currently below replacement level and is projected to stay low. The millennial generation is on food stamps, cannot afford cars, but still wants more out of life than an entry level job. So, we just don’t need each other like we used to.
Denying committed couples the right to marry has only shown us as a people that perhaps marriage is not the only way to bring people together. Maybe we don’t need a contract that bets half of our property that we’ll love each other forever and ever. The millennial generation will not have much to bet.
Maybe people can just be decent. Maybe we can create bonds and abide by them without legal repercussions. Perhaps, marriage should not be in the tax code and legal briefs, because government should not be able to arbitrarily determine the definition of love, of who is truly committed. Can we not decide that for ourselves?